rikki + melissa

A year ago in early October, I traveled to Cebu to meet Melissa’s family as it is customary for the groom-to-be to go through the “pamanhikan”, a treasured Filipino heritage. Melissa and I were already engaged at this point and we were seeking her family’s blessings for a long and happy marriage. We had planned a small and intimate wedding in San Francisco which, unfortunately, her parents couldn’t attend. During the “pamanhikan”, I made a promise to her dad – that we would come back a year later so he would be able to walk her down the aisle and give her away.

We returned a year later. On October 16th, on our first year wedding anniversary and in front of 200 of our closest friends and family, I kept my promise.

The coins are called arras. In one Catholic wedding tradition, the groom gives the bride an Arras – a container of 13 coins. In addition to being a sort of dowry, the Arras symbolized the groom’s promise (and ability) to support his family. In wealthy families, the Arras consisted of 13 gold or silver coins. Those less well off have used gold-plated small denomination coins, or tokens.

Pamanhikan:The blueprints of wedding plans are drawn or made known during this occasion. The pamanhikan is often hosted by the bride’s family as the groom and his folks visit them to formally ask their daughter’s hand in marriage and discuss plans for the upcoming wedding over lunch or dinner. This can be an uneasy situation if it’s the first time for both parties to meet. The soon-to-weds may feel a little awkward (nervous even) seeing and listening to their parents consult each other on matters like their wedding budget, guest list and the like. It is customary that the visiting family bring a gift (often, the best home-cooked specialty of the groom’s mom) for the hosts. Others may opt to hold the meeting on neutral grounds (a restaurant is a likely choice) or invite a mutual acquaintance to the gathering and help ease the awkwarness of the first meeting. Why do Pinoys bother with all the trouble? We all seek our parents’ blessings for a happy and trouble-free marriage. Afterall, pamanhikan is a treasured Filipino heritage which, first and foremost, avoids the embarrassing situation of having the parents see each other as strangers come wedding day. (courtesy of Weddings at Work).

Here are are some of the images from that special day captured by our (now) friends Joey Reyna and Nelson Petilla. They presented an on-site slideshow towards the end of the wedding reception. You can view the slideshow on Joey’s site under Clients (password: shangrila).

PHOTOGRAPHY: Joey Reyna

HAIR AND MAKEUP: Gary Son

CEREMONY AND RECEPTION VENUE: Shangri-la Mactan Resort Cebu

VIOLINIST: Francis Balo

BAND: Royal Plus Trio with John Walt and Axel Bordario

CAKE DECORATOR: Marissa Unchuan/Grupo

GROOM AND BRIDAL PARTY ATTIRE: Modelli Divine Fashion

FLOWERS: Pink Flora

MUSIC: DJ Robin Mendoza (download the mp3 here)

Joey just recently posted his own account on his blog. According to him, this is his longest blog post ever (he ended up breaking it up in 2 parts). Here they are:

Wedding Preparation and Ceremony

Wedding Reception

Joey and Nelson along with their team did such an exceptional job capturing memories that will last us a lifetime. They were absolutely discreet and we often referred to them as “photo-ninjas” as they were able to cover our wedding without much distraction. I didn’t even notice they were around during our wedding. Now that’s a sign of a great team! Kudos to you guys and I hope we’ll get to meet again!